This is stupid.
Kids say extremely stupid things.
Sometimes they DO hit on a truth adults won't tell, of course. But that's not because kids are so inordinately wise, it's because they're jerks. They have no filters, so they just say the mean things the rest of us think, but know enough to keep to ourselves.
I mean, the reason no one else told the Emperor that he was naked wasn't because they all believed the ridiculous ruse, it's because they knew that calling an Emperor an idiot is a fast-track to beheadings. Probably that child's entire family got beheaded in the epilogue.
**At this point let me note that kids also say the MOST AWESOME things anyone ever says. Lack of a filter means they don't realize when their songs are nonsensical, when their comic-book characters are legitimately insane, or when their thoughts are satanic and therefore hilarious.**
But they're not some font of greater truth. I mean seriously.
Lately, though, am finding a pretty awesome truth-font in my life: extremely antiquated expressions.
I spouted off one of my grandpa's classics the other day when a friend told me about the tactless thing her colleague had said to her.
"Man, she could've talked all day and not said that."
She stared at me like I'd sprouted another head, briefly, then, getting it, nodded vigorously. "I know, right?"
My grandma was the queen of these, especially when we were little and she expected us to help her with something NOW (which was basically always).
She'd yell at us "don't just sit there like settin' cement," she needed someone to feed the birds, and we were all "slower than molasses in January."
Seriously, how much better is that than "hurry up?"
I wonder why some of these have become so old-hat as to feel like the worst of cliches, while others just seem to fade away, despite being at least as awesome, if not more so?
What are your best oldster phrases that would sound brand new with just a spit and a polish?
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